My Butt, It Hurts

I made a thing over at the Star Wars Crawl Creator. I tried to embed it here, but the width on the crawl app is fixed, so it doesn’t fit properly here even if I drop the sidebars.

Here’s the text for those of you disinclined to the joy of seeing my snark in crawl format

Episode VIII


Remember when people could talk about movies without having at least a dozen people yell, “SPOILERS,” as if suffering from some little-known and obscure form of Tourette’s?

Those were good days.

Sure, there’s a certain joy in having a movie surprise you. But if the capacity for a story to surprise is the single-most important measure of its quality, then I submit the balance of the story lacks substance.  Look at THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. Who didn’t hear “I am your father” as a meme before watching the movie? You don’t see those people complaining about ruined lives, do you?

Your cone of silence should not come at the cost of critical discourse.

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